Some poker thoughts: on the right road?

I haven't been playing poker over the last few days, but today I've been thinking about the game and try to think about what it all means!

So.., bascially I'm not too sure I'm playing poker for the right reasons and I'm not sure what I want from the game. Without an answer to both these questions, that's a problem. I've been studying motivation and goal setting in my studies and bascially if you don't know what you want from something you are NEVER going to get very far, because you don't know where you want to go! It's so important to set clear goals and to have the right reasons for wanting to reach them. Time for a change. The last 3 years I've been playing, I've probably won about $6k playing poker. But where has it gone? I can't really tell you. Was it worth it? I've spent a lot of time playing, when maybe I could of been doing other things.

This is something I want to sort out. Now I'm not saying I want to quit I just want to know exactly why I'm playing, what positives I can get from the game and what I want to achieve. It doesn't have to necessarily mean money, but just a clear purpose. I think this needs to be done before you do anything seriously in life. This way I think i'll get alot more out of the game.

I also read a good forum post on 2+2, about "the best poker advice ever given to you"...which I thought was pretty good.

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"I suppose the best advice I got is this- always have the prize in mind, and don't let life pass you by. Life is really very short, and if you want to spend 15 hours a day playing poker, be sure you aren't missing out on something else because you probably are. It's easy to isolate yourself from everyone around you to the point where you actually don't have any friends anymore. So- you need to really determine for yourself if this game is a hobby you work at around work, friends or family, etc, or a job. Either way, you have to make sure your life is healthy before your bankroll is healthy- otherwise this game will slowly kill you on the inside. Lay your goals out, and make time to do the things you want to do. Keep this prize in mind. If you're passing up on dates, friends, time with kids to play poker, you should stop and really question if the $$$ is worth it. We all look back upon our lives from our deathbeds, and I think you'd be hard pressed to find an individual who says, I wish I didn't spend all that time with my family and just played poker more.. lol. As for not letting the world pass you by, this is a double edge sword- You can't put your dreams off and leave your heart unfulfilled, however, there are simple joys and pleasures of everyday life that are fleeting in nature. ie- parents die, kids grow up etc, you can't let those times pass you up either. It's a balance. Everything in moderation"

mixed results and the PAIN of MTT's!

Right, it's been a while since I've posted an update, mainly because I haven't really been playing too much. Nevertheless I have put in a few sessions and here are the highlights:

1. Winning at 50c/$1 and a nice pot with 8 high
The first session back after a few weeks I decided to two table 50c/$1, going against my BRM rule I posted a while back about not playing this until I hit $4K. Anyway, my excuse was that when you haven't played in a while you kinda want to play something worthwhile! I was pleased that I did because I hit the deck pretty hard, getting my AA v KK to hold up for a $220 pot and ended the session ~$400 up. The next day I did the sensible thing and dropped down to 9 tabling 25c/50c. Things started pretty well, when I RRAI on the turn with 86o on a 5,k,q,7 board, and when with the river was a 2 things didn't look great until he showed 46o!

2. Going back up to 50c/$1
Another reminder here, not to go up levels too quickly. It was one of those sessions where I tried to force the win early on, trying to win every single pot...ooops. I think I was having a bad day and tried to take it out on the tables. One of the first few hands I raised to $4 with KJc and got called by the SB to see a 9, 7, 3 rainbow flop. He checked and I bet $7, and he made it $18. Hmmmmmm. I really didn't believe his c/r here and think he can fold A9/K9 here to a shove...which I did and it wasn't nice to be drawing pretty dead to his set of 7's. He then typed "NH" to me in the chat, what?!, which defo tilted me! Time to reload.

I get my stack up to a more healthy looking $160 so closing in on a breakeven session which would definatley feel like a win when I get AA in the BB and we are 3 handed. The aggressive button (~$140) makes it $3, the SB folds and I make it $13. He calls. The flop was Q 10 7 and I bet $16, he makes it $35. Now obv I'm definately not folding but what's the correct play here, raise or call? I think maybe he passes KQ/AQ here so I'm getting no value in pushing. Anyway, that's what I did! and he called with 10 7 to win the pot. Time to close down all the tables!

3. Back to MTT's
I really think MTT's are all about having the right frame of mind and playing for the win. It's so frustrating just doubling your money after playing for 2-4 hours. Anyway, previously I had lost a fair amount of money (prob around $100ish) playing the stars $12 180 man turbo's. Pretty crap shooty, but aslong as you play aggressive they are defo +EV. So I put 4 up at the same time, and managed to cash in 3 of them but they were all in the 9-18 position which just means doubling up your buy in, very frustrating when you outlast 90% of the field.

Next tournie was a $20 HU shootout. There were 7 tiers, 1st prize of $1.5K and to get ITM you needed to win your first 3 matches. I got a bit of luck to get through my 2nd match my flopped flush vs opponents flopped set and in the third match my AQ beat AK AIPF. So onto the 4th match where the winner got an extra $100. I think I played a bit too dweeby as I was so hungry for the extra $100 to get that KJ hand out of my head from earlier in the 50c/$1 cash game. So, I lost and settled for a small $40 profit.

Final tournie was a $3 rebuy with 5,500+ runners and with $60K in the prizepool. Again, very poor final stage play on my part. I managed to get into the last 60 which is pretty sick and then I got incredibly card dead for about 1 1/2 hours. I finally get JJ and there is a raise, a RRAI and a call infront of me....come on!! I fold the original raiser folds and both the AI's have AK.....which obv missed and would of put me in huge contention for the $8K first prize. Oh well. The final hand there is a small raise in MP from a fairly aggressive player who I've had a few tangles with! I am in the BB and tried a stop and go with 5,2o... I think it's a pretty +EV play tbh but he had AQ and the flop was Q high. So 55th for $100 and 5 hours work.

Anyway enough of the ramblings: Key point is that a) Keep disciplined with the BR b) ALWAYS ALWAYS play for the win in MTT's and take the outdraws as part of the game.

BR Situation:
$1,940
W$-$250