Some poker thoughts: on the right road?

I haven't been playing poker over the last few days, but today I've been thinking about the game and try to think about what it all means!

So.., bascially I'm not too sure I'm playing poker for the right reasons and I'm not sure what I want from the game. Without an answer to both these questions, that's a problem. I've been studying motivation and goal setting in my studies and bascially if you don't know what you want from something you are NEVER going to get very far, because you don't know where you want to go! It's so important to set clear goals and to have the right reasons for wanting to reach them. Time for a change. The last 3 years I've been playing, I've probably won about $6k playing poker. But where has it gone? I can't really tell you. Was it worth it? I've spent a lot of time playing, when maybe I could of been doing other things.

This is something I want to sort out. Now I'm not saying I want to quit I just want to know exactly why I'm playing, what positives I can get from the game and what I want to achieve. It doesn't have to necessarily mean money, but just a clear purpose. I think this needs to be done before you do anything seriously in life. This way I think i'll get alot more out of the game.

I also read a good forum post on 2+2, about "the best poker advice ever given to you"...which I thought was pretty good.

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"I suppose the best advice I got is this- always have the prize in mind, and don't let life pass you by. Life is really very short, and if you want to spend 15 hours a day playing poker, be sure you aren't missing out on something else because you probably are. It's easy to isolate yourself from everyone around you to the point where you actually don't have any friends anymore. So- you need to really determine for yourself if this game is a hobby you work at around work, friends or family, etc, or a job. Either way, you have to make sure your life is healthy before your bankroll is healthy- otherwise this game will slowly kill you on the inside. Lay your goals out, and make time to do the things you want to do. Keep this prize in mind. If you're passing up on dates, friends, time with kids to play poker, you should stop and really question if the $$$ is worth it. We all look back upon our lives from our deathbeds, and I think you'd be hard pressed to find an individual who says, I wish I didn't spend all that time with my family and just played poker more.. lol. As for not letting the world pass you by, this is a double edge sword- You can't put your dreams off and leave your heart unfulfilled, however, there are simple joys and pleasures of everyday life that are fleeting in nature. ie- parents die, kids grow up etc, you can't let those times pass you up either. It's a balance. Everything in moderation"

mixed results and the PAIN of MTT's!

Right, it's been a while since I've posted an update, mainly because I haven't really been playing too much. Nevertheless I have put in a few sessions and here are the highlights:

1. Winning at 50c/$1 and a nice pot with 8 high
The first session back after a few weeks I decided to two table 50c/$1, going against my BRM rule I posted a while back about not playing this until I hit $4K. Anyway, my excuse was that when you haven't played in a while you kinda want to play something worthwhile! I was pleased that I did because I hit the deck pretty hard, getting my AA v KK to hold up for a $220 pot and ended the session ~$400 up. The next day I did the sensible thing and dropped down to 9 tabling 25c/50c. Things started pretty well, when I RRAI on the turn with 86o on a 5,k,q,7 board, and when with the river was a 2 things didn't look great until he showed 46o!

2. Going back up to 50c/$1
Another reminder here, not to go up levels too quickly. It was one of those sessions where I tried to force the win early on, trying to win every single pot...ooops. I think I was having a bad day and tried to take it out on the tables. One of the first few hands I raised to $4 with KJc and got called by the SB to see a 9, 7, 3 rainbow flop. He checked and I bet $7, and he made it $18. Hmmmmmm. I really didn't believe his c/r here and think he can fold A9/K9 here to a shove...which I did and it wasn't nice to be drawing pretty dead to his set of 7's. He then typed "NH" to me in the chat, what?!, which defo tilted me! Time to reload.

I get my stack up to a more healthy looking $160 so closing in on a breakeven session which would definatley feel like a win when I get AA in the BB and we are 3 handed. The aggressive button (~$140) makes it $3, the SB folds and I make it $13. He calls. The flop was Q 10 7 and I bet $16, he makes it $35. Now obv I'm definately not folding but what's the correct play here, raise or call? I think maybe he passes KQ/AQ here so I'm getting no value in pushing. Anyway, that's what I did! and he called with 10 7 to win the pot. Time to close down all the tables!

3. Back to MTT's
I really think MTT's are all about having the right frame of mind and playing for the win. It's so frustrating just doubling your money after playing for 2-4 hours. Anyway, previously I had lost a fair amount of money (prob around $100ish) playing the stars $12 180 man turbo's. Pretty crap shooty, but aslong as you play aggressive they are defo +EV. So I put 4 up at the same time, and managed to cash in 3 of them but they were all in the 9-18 position which just means doubling up your buy in, very frustrating when you outlast 90% of the field.

Next tournie was a $20 HU shootout. There were 7 tiers, 1st prize of $1.5K and to get ITM you needed to win your first 3 matches. I got a bit of luck to get through my 2nd match my flopped flush vs opponents flopped set and in the third match my AQ beat AK AIPF. So onto the 4th match where the winner got an extra $100. I think I played a bit too dweeby as I was so hungry for the extra $100 to get that KJ hand out of my head from earlier in the 50c/$1 cash game. So, I lost and settled for a small $40 profit.

Final tournie was a $3 rebuy with 5,500+ runners and with $60K in the prizepool. Again, very poor final stage play on my part. I managed to get into the last 60 which is pretty sick and then I got incredibly card dead for about 1 1/2 hours. I finally get JJ and there is a raise, a RRAI and a call infront of me....come on!! I fold the original raiser folds and both the AI's have AK.....which obv missed and would of put me in huge contention for the $8K first prize. Oh well. The final hand there is a small raise in MP from a fairly aggressive player who I've had a few tangles with! I am in the BB and tried a stop and go with 5,2o... I think it's a pretty +EV play tbh but he had AQ and the flop was Q high. So 55th for $100 and 5 hours work.

Anyway enough of the ramblings: Key point is that a) Keep disciplined with the BR b) ALWAYS ALWAYS play for the win in MTT's and take the outdraws as part of the game.

BR Situation:
$1,940
W$-$250

still on the de-cline

Not too much to report except for some more losses unfortunately. Poker can be a pretty cruel game. When you're losing it's easy to question why you even play the game in the first place and without the confidence my game definately suffers. So, what's the damage? Since the new year i've lost a quater of my bankroll which is pretty shocking. The trouble is, I'm chasing my losses at the moment trying to get back on track. Never a good strategy, but sometimes hard to avoid.

Tilt kicked in pretty hard when I got two outtered in the deep stages of a multi, but come on, that's pretty standard. I've got to learn to roll with the punches if I'm going to be a good MTT player. Since then, like I've said I've been chasing losses and don't really think I've been in the right frame of mind to play nuttin but A. About two years ago me and a mate started taking MTT's seriously, and although I don't think our strategy was the best our focus and concentration on each game I think was unmatched. We were constantly assessing people's ranges, what fold equity we had, who was playing aggressively etc etc...It gave us a massive edge. I need some of that focus back, trouble is you can't have it if you are chasing your losses. So, a pretty boring and low spirited post but after a few days of not playing I'll be back ready to destroy it again.

more down's then up's

An interesting and frustrating 3 weeks of poker. As much as I enjoy playing multitables they just take up too much time. I decided to try and focus just on 6 max 25c-50c for this month and was 9 tabling most of the time with an effort to try and get to gold star status. Although I don't really think there much point in getting to gold star doesn't seem like you can do much with it, although I have alot of FPP's to spend now.

Anyways, my pokertracker isn't working but basically I went 6 buy-ins up and then proceeded to lose 11 buy ins... in pretty standard/brutal fashion. So basically I dropped $250 which although not a HUGE amount of money is more painful due to the hours I put in. Atleast I got to gold star status.....GRRRREAAT.

A few leaks in my game which I need to sort out:

- Calling raises OOP too much.
- 9 tabling isn't probably optimal, should really stick to 6.
- Not betting for value on the river once it's checked to me.
- When I have the nuts of the river and someone bets into me, alot of the time I just jam my whole stack in there, even if it's 3 or 4x the pot. This probably works 5% of the time (in that I get called) and although is pretty funny when I do, I could be getting so much more value if I just put a sensible raise in there. In short, I get greedy!
- Most importantly, don't play when I'm not feeling like playing well.

Poker: you love it and hate it.

The last week of poker has been a bit of a rollercoaster where I've lost some discipline and played a bit too much; something I'm not too pleased about and will improve upon. It stems from the tournament win the other day, getting use to larger buy-in tournaments, the new found money and a bit of over confidence. Luckily I haven't damaged the bankroll but could have quite easily. I had one session where I had a $700 swing playing cash, I'm not doing that again....until I have the bankroll.

The MTT's haven't exactly been going very well. No cashes online in the last 20 tournaments. I'm not sure exactly what the standard variance is in MTT's with such large fields as I'm not a regular MTT player but losing consistently isn't much fun. What's more frustrating is that I haven't been playing well. I've had a couple of poker binges in which I just fired up as many tables as I could, out of the bankroll, and played without focus.

The one cash I did have was in the live poker tournament last week. The structure was really good, you could start with 10k if you took the add-on, blinds 25/50 and a 20 minute clock. It was a real local boys game, everyone knew each other and the type of game where if you took a few hundred quid from a mate in the cash game you could wind him up the next day on the high street. I eventually finished up 4th, trying my luck one too many times stealing the blinds but was good for a small profit. The friend I was with came 2nd which was pretty impressive especially as he was one card away from the £500 first prize.

So, this week has really taught me a lesson. No more poker binges, you may aswell play slot machines if you are going to do that because it's pretty much the same process imo. No more playing out of the bankroll, getting over-setted in $1-$2 taught me that. From now on I won't be playing anything higher than 25c/50c until I hit $4k. It's all about being a bankroll nit.

A few goals to go with the new year too:

- Finally get the life/poker balance
- Stop playing whenever it's not fun.
- Record every entry/win/loss
- Win enough money to pay for a Vegas and Brazil trip

Current bankroll situation:

$2k- Just to be used for MTT's and 25c-50c
W$450- To be used to try and Satalitte into a big live event

starting well

Last week I had my biggest cash ever in a $10r, 5th place for $1.7k which I'm really pleased about but at the same time a tad annoyed as I came into the final table leading in chips. First place was $6.5k, but at one point I could of easily come 7th or 8th and obviously to get to the final table I won a couple of flips so I can't be too greedy!

On the final table the average stack was about 500,000 and I had 1.1m and position on the guy who had 2nd in chips so it was looking pretty ideal. As the prize jumps were very big for the level of buy-in I was raising about 70% of flops preflop and getting no one playing back at me so soon got my stack up to 1.4m. The first time somone played back at me they had 350,000 and was priced into call their all in with A4o. They had deuces which held, which was a huge flip for me if I win. I then shoved in the SB on a short stacked BB with K4 which was dominated by K9. That put me to average stack and we had only lost one player. In hinddight, I could have played the final table more conservatively and guaranteed a 3rd or 4th position but I was going for the win so no regrets.

At 5 handed each jump was over $1k so play was pretty tight and I was in push/fold mode with an M of 4. Final hand I jammed the button with the mighty 5,2o and lost to 9's. Both blinds had similar stacks to me and were playing fairly tight so I don't mind pushing there. It's definately made me have more belief in my game and the money will be good in building my BR and it's means I don't have to deposit.

During the month off I had from poker I was watching some of the proven winners of MTT's online, i.e Annette_15 and Chris Moorman which definatley helped and made me think alot about strategy in a different way. The biggest realisation I had was the level of aggression they both have and how well timed it is. Also reading their blogs it seems like they have a real winning mentality and hunger to win which I think is a fundamental part of their success and something I'm trying to improve in each tournament I play.

That was last week and after that I've had a few smaller cashes and yesterday decided to see how hot I was runnning by entering some medium sized games as the prize pools were looking pretty juicy. I played 3 $50-60 tournaments, so not sticking to my 1% rule...

The first game tilted me pretty hard when I got 2/5 of a guys stack in pre-flop with his 5's against my aces. A 5 on the flop was pretty nasty. Later on he mentioned that he mis-clicked called preflop which tilted me further! The second tourney someone soulread me as I RRAI on the turn with no hand and got called by second pair, no kicker. Owned. The final tournament I made a debateable push with an M of 6 with K8 UTG+2, and got beaten by 10's. So, a pretty dissapointing evening but thrown in with a bit of poker-burnout as I had hit the tournaments fairly hard that week.

Going to take a break for a day or so and next poker will be a live game a mate invited me to which is a £60 dealer dealt tournament. Again out of the BR so not the best idea but it will be (hopefully) more fun and good to get some live experience in. If any of St.Albans finest poker players are out there and want to join me it's Tuesday night and I can drive...

tournament times

Had a pretty good month off from poker, and now I'm back time to start destroying some tournaments.

The last two days I've been back playing I'm about $400 up which is a good base to build the roll. My plan is to deposit a furthr $1K and use it for 10-20 buck MTT's and put in a good amount of volume to see if I can get rolled for $20-$50 MTT's; whilst never using more than 1% of my roll in one tournament. Time to win a donkament.